Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
