I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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