Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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