I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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