You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize