omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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