Define "chronic" masturbator.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
