can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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