At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
