is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
