haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
