Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Couch. On fire.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
