It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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