It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
