I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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