Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize