From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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