Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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