The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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