What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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