YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
