She is in my trunk
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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