I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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