I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
