I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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