go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
