I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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