Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
