Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
