I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
