I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
