Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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