saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
