everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize