Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
