spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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