Non-Jews are for practice
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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