Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
