ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
