She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
