So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
