All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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