its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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