I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
