Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
