You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
