these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
