absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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