He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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