You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
