I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
