Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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