we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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