it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's the barista slut.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
