so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
