maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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