she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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