I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
