i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
