Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Still dying that you shit outside
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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