Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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