It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize