Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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