they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
