Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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