I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
