ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How does one acquire holy water?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
