I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize