just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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