Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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