Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk is a universal language darling
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
