Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
