If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
